This all be fiction:
After a long, long personally arduous journey, I've returned to Toronto, the city that I'm from. I'm back living in Kensington with Mario and our subletter Nikki and its the same place but a very different tone. COVID has changed many things. The city seems wilder, there is more tension, and I'd say its a little less friendly. That's to be expected, there is so much uncertainty.
I'm no longer an extremely broke Ph.D. student hitting his mid-thirties. I'm a young-ish (contract) scientist for the provincial government doing research roughly related to bugs, forests, and climate change. No, its directly related to those things. I also get the luxury of working remotely, which has made all the beautiful difference in the world. I don't know how long it will last but maybe that is what is making it so pleasurable. I love the word pleasure, it sounds and looks just like it means.
I walked home from Fresh Co. and like most budget, clean, bright grocery stores, it put me in a cheerful, perky mood. Maybe its that I can afford stuff more now and yet choose to be frugal and eat relatively clean and cook. I don't know, its maybe just the abundance of food and goodness there that does it. I denied buying a homeless guy beer, though I myself bought 3 today. His knuckles were injured, raw and infected. I didn't like the pressure he was putting on me. I resented it and maybe that makes me petty. I bought pizzas, bread, salad, and a few other supplies and started walking home.
In the restaurant, I think I saw a Chinese girl I'd recognized from way back. I'm not sure from where, but she had distinct poofy big hair and looked just a tad boss eyed. She was attractive though. Even in budget grocery stores, people are attractive here. Like I realized while up north, Toronto, downtown, is just a sexy place. Its young and vibrant and things happen here. I should try to stick around for a bit, with semi-frequent trips to the north.
On Nassau I saw the little restaurants and bars and the lights looked so warm and glowing this evening. Its getting cooler and it feel so good to be back with the people and noise and music and vibrancy. Though I was in a terrible state last year, I now can thrive on this human energy. This vibrancy. And I don't feel old anymore, I feel just right. The haircut helped.
And now somehow, I see Toronto as a new city with fresh eyes and as a tourist and it is so beautiful. It is as inspiring as anywhere I've been and even if its for a night, I'm grateful to be moved this way. It had all the makings of an Anthony Bourdain show and I felt very suddenly, the reawakening of romance within me. Romance for life, for travel, for colour, and cities, and everything looked glowing for just one moment. I want to drink at those bars and eat at those restaurants. I should go out at least once a week.
For the moment, I'm happy how things turned out.
I want to go back to Japan. Its one of the few things that still has pull on me. I'm not quite sure why but it does. Don't let it dominate your life again, but do a good job for research. This has been your bridge home many times. This has been your ticket to the world and has just been upgraded.
